SIVARATRI
[Holy Mother performs the “dance-like” movements with intense absorption into the dramatic music of Rachmaninoff...]
Valentina: ...Om Shanti... God bless you... You all know what night it is, the night of vigil and possibilities! Every time man decides to do something which is difficult for the sake of Ideal, that very moment man raises his standards, also raises his circumstances and raises his opportunities, because the Cosmos is full of vibrations which reverberate according to that which you send forth. You send forth an aspiration, a lofty thought, an idealism, a sacrifice, - you get back these qualities coupled. Such is the mercy of the Divine Force.
It is interesting that even the atheists prove this to be true, because amongst them, there are many who have idealism of their own. They do not call God - “God,” but if they live according to their best inclinations, they actually live also for the Divine! It is the vibration which matters and not the labels with which you, the human being, are trying to bribe the Divinity. So it is who you are, it is what you do, it is how you do that makes you; but first, who you are.
Tonight is a difficult night, and some of you were preparing for it, others were not, still, can raise immediately his vibrations through inspiration, through trust, through love of Beauty and Rightness. And... you will! [Smiling] I’ll look to that. In the meantime, please relax and perform pranayama.
You please perform the stretches of your arms and with each stretch, you inhale, you repeat the Mantra, and because the presiding Deity is Siva tonight, repeat His Holy Name, Om Namah Sivaya. If so many people are repeating the same prayer, it is just like so many bulbs of electricity, it becomes quite bright. A collective Japa, or the repetition of the Divine Name, is very potent, thus, whatever we are doing this night, (and when we are in silence, particularly), it is expected of us, because of our integrity and sincerity of dedication, to not lose the main topic of our night, and that is the remembrance of God in His form as Siva.
...When you perform this pranayama with the repetition of the Name of the Lord, and if you will succeed to establish the rhythm, you will notice a strange indifference in your mood. You lose the interest for the thoughts which you usually entertain, your usuals seem very small. You are in the new rhythm, in the Cosmic Rhythm. Om Namah Sivaya... [Repeating the Mantra several times, rhythmically] ...with breathing and with exhalation. [Practice]
...If you understood what I meant by the indifference to the habitual trend of thoughts, the next step is to understand also your habitual emotions and also become indifferent. Usually, those who are sensitive enough, when they give resolves, they are ashamed of their past misdeeds, as well as of the intrusive thoughts and feelings. You need not be, because that won’t help you too much. It is good to be disgusted with it, sure enough, but not to the extent of feeling guilty, developing guilt complex and weakening yourself. Because, do not forget that you pick up the Path of Liberation from all that stuff and, therefore, to give too much attention to it is to intensify it, instead of getting rid of it. So the point is that one has to be very intelligent, really and truly, very subtle, sensitive. These are the qualities without which you cannot estimate your condition. The condition is, however, very well known to every Yogi and psychologist, and that is, that in every human being, there is a very unpurified desire body, that vital stuff, it is like a leech. It is very, very intensive and it has a pattern, - all the time at the least suggestion, there are habitual responses from that region of your consciousness, and that is in the form of resentment, in the form of jealousy, in the form of envy, in the form of lust. There are thousands and thousands of lower movements in that particular region. It is to such an extent mechanical that it does not even consult the thought, it is rushing to register the whatever reactions and responses to the events and to the suggestions from the outside world come your way.
This, by the way, is the greatest obstacle, and the greatest obstacle it is, because most people do not even understand what is going on, and that’s very important to understand. Majority of people justify those movements, and if they are pointed out to them, they resent, they usually answer back and never can understand to what an extent they are enslaved in this region - like slave to something very strong, which holds the consciousness in that place very unhealthily.
So, by the Grace of God, I hope that it will be clear to everybody that this has to be liquidated, the sooner the better. Not that it will not bother you again and again and again, but at least, if you will realize that it is a pest who all the time devitalizes your consciousness and that you have to get rid of it. You have to replace it by indifference to it first, and then by lofty aspiration. Now concrete example: for instance, you become jealous immediately if there is somebody who is either surpassing you or simply is a figure of esteem. You just take it as a personal offense. [Laughter] There are many such. It is absurd, and yet that kind of a movement is a very well-known movement in almost every human being. It is just like the dog does not like another dog to even look at its bone. [Laughter] Well, that kind of atavistic feeling is in human being also. It is good to recognize it and to liquidate it, really, because it is so stupid and yet it holds you strongly in its clutches. That is not only in this instance, but there are thousands of various absurdities in human make-up.
Now that we are here in such unusual atmosphere, when we, really and truly, are facing nothing but the Eternal values, for we are in the position to look objectively at all the folly of our mental, physical and emotional life, we can conquer it in such environment on the background of surrender to the Divine much quicker than during, perhaps, ten years of very erratic struggle against it. You can get rid of bad habits, such as taking dope, taking alcohol, smoking, committing adultery - lots of things. [Smiles] I promise you, you can get rid of it, if you look straight into the eyes of those stupid monsters and say, “Well, what do I care if they exist, now I am in contact with the Supreme Eternal.” You do not even have to talk yourself into it, but simply feel the gravity of the moment, the fleetingness of the world, the absurdity of losing and wasting your time on the unworthy movements within ourselves. They are attacking all the time, everybody, those vibrations, because it is the mind of the whole human race. But then, when one is on the Path towards liberation from all this, one can project the antidote. “It is not the race that influences me, but I influence the race with the Grace of Lord Siva.”
Having this as the background of your mind, perform the pranayama with the repetition of the Lord’s Name, and develop that indifference to evil. Patanjali says in his Yoga Shastras: pay great respect to those who are superior to you, have mercy and compassion to those who are inferior or miserable, and (here we come) indifference to evil within you and outside you.
Sometimes, students do not understand, “What does it mean, ‘indifference’ - how come we should be indifferent to that which requires protest and indignation?” Indifference of that kind is a superior indifference, when you are surrendering yourself to Good, to such an extent, that you lose interest, (here is the point) to absurdities which are obviously ridiculous in their stupidity, lack of intelligence, vulgarity... evil. You remove yourself to such an extent that you do not care for it... within yourself too. This is not to be mistaken for the lack of understanding of the gravity of it, - it is precisely because you are supposed to understand so darn well that you say, “Well, it really is not for me, I don’t allow this to overpower me.” And then you become indifferent.
Now come, pranayama. [Practice]
[Later] Om Namah Sivaya... And, by the way, it is only those who have such equal vision who can destroy the evil. Example: Gurudev’s talk (my talk quoting him) - well, he deals with the unveiling of the evil. The goody-goody people do not understand it, they think, “Well, I’m so far removed from it, that’s not my cup of tea, I don’t even think about it!” Well... that’s not the kind of an attitude which will remove anything or make you a worthy person. You see, he has enormous empathy with the people who are afflicted by evil, and that’s the thing which you should not lose while being indifferent. That’s a very subtle combination of intensest empathy, that is to say, understanding, feeling, being not removed, but being in the shoes, in the very guts of those people who are afflicted by certain crimes and certain vices and yet be indifferent, that is to say, not condemn them, yet be indifferent to the very power of the evil which evil usually professes.
It is very difficult to put these things into words, one has to grow his consciousness in order to feel these things like I describe now. And this isyour chance - by repetition of the Holy Name. Continue your pranayama with the Name. [Practice]
[Changing from the lying-down to the prostrating position] ...And prostrate again, literally prostrate, repeating prostration to Lord Siva or Om Namah Sivaya, which means prostrations to Lord Siva. [Practice]
[Later] I think it is time now for us to go to the Sanctuary and spend a few hours together with Lord Siva there. God bless you. Thank you very much for sharing this night with me. God bless you... [Silence]
[Later, the students join our Holy Mother in the Sanctuary. The Sanctuary is filled with the intense vibrations of Holy Mother’s absorption in Sivaratri. As She entered the Sanctuary, wearing Gurudev Sivananda’s Sari, it was as if She was wrapped in Power and Silence. Taking Her seat, Her face is almost invisible, so intense was Her withdrawal and absorption. And yet, as She spoke, Her voice portrayed this most unusual Sivaratri Flow. Perhaps, expecting the scorching Fierceness of Siva, all were, instead, touched by Her “availability to all” - healed, soothed and uplifted through the golden warmth and Compassion, the Crystal-clear Beauty of Her Voice, Words, Prayers and Countenance]
[Chanting] Om Namaha Sivaya... Om Namaha Sivaya... Om Namaha Sivaya... [Japa follows]
...Vivekananda and the boys celebrated Sivaratri, - Vivekananda exclaimed, “Guru Siva! Guru Siva! Guru Siva!” taking Siva as the Eternal Guru. And then they were burning (as I told you the story) leaves all night, symbolizing the burning of the sins.
During this silent day, fast and withdrawal, I gave a thought to the sin and I said, genug is genug, no more sin! I’m not interested in sins! That was a dialogue with Lord Siva. He says, [In a fierce-like tone] “What shall I burn then?!” [Laughter] To what I said, [Gently, but ardently] “Lord, kindle my heart more, let this be the burning!” And then I made a review of whomever came into my mind. Sometimes I am annoyed when I catch the vibrations of other people. Sometimes people think about me and I know it and I have to attend to it. This time I didn’t bother! I said, “I’m not interested. I’m not making efforts, so whoever comes, I bless. And then whoever came, (and many came), I saw the certain virtue in everyone, peculiar to this one. I even asked Jay, first of all... remember, Jay, what I asked you, when I spoke to you tonight, my first words to you?
Student: Guru asked, “What is your virtue?!”
Valentina: Yes, I asked Jay, “What is your virtue?” That was directly after my strange meditation. And he said, “I don’t know!” [Laughter] Granted! But, because of my “special” attitude, I said, “efficiency!!” And everything else is erased, just efficiency! Jay, the most efficient! Terrific! Keep on coming to me while I am withdrawing and I would find lots of qualities in him! So what happens then? Lord, suppose You will burn everything but efficiency in this guy?! He will be a genius of efficiency! [Laughter]
So what I want now, is not to look too laboriously for some kind of a good jewel within us, but trust in ourselves, knowing that there is such thing. And Lord Siva keeps on taking care of our virtues by the very simple reason that anything which is not good cannot exist in His Proximity. He just really destroys it! Good to know that, - that if we rely on that Deity, we are safe. [Hearing one of the student’s giggle of appreciation]
jack, what is your best?
Student: Devotion to Guru.
Valentina: Ah-ha! I’m inclined to believe it! [Laughter] So let the Lord burn everything but that and Jack will be... well, Saint Francis will be nothing compared to Jack! [Laughter] So this is a new method of dealing with Lord Siva’s Third Eye! Let Him burn everything around the special jewel of ours. So we won’t have any problem then, no more struggle, the Lord does everything! Devotion remains with you, efficiency remains with the other one, and so forth and so on! Don’t expect me now to entertain you with your “jewels!” But you please meditate upon your best quality the way you love it, the way you select it, the way you choose to do with it, the way you decide, the way you permit the Spirit to manifest your best. Every one of us has colour, predominant colour.
Well, one may argue, there are people who are very deeply immersed in vice to such an extent that they become anti-social and they are very disturbing elements. How can one then, without becoming artificial, look for something good in them, a “jewel?” You know what? Don’t look, you won’t find it, but deal with every human being, good, bad or medium, as potentially pure, potentially good. You will become very unburdened, because it is difficult to deal with people who provoke you.
What did I tell you the other day, Sandy, when you told me that your boss is pretty noisy? Come, say it.
Student: To deal instead with the light inside him.
Valentina: Yes, just know that whatever he has outside is his business, he accumulated it very thoroughly. But still, he has the Immortal Light and that is the thing to just consider. Yu can walk very safely then, you will see nothing but light, everywhere light. If it is sometimes shadowed, sometimes purposely removed... well, sometimes, people simply look as if there is no light, because they accumulate a lot of darkness. But it is none of our business to meditate on evil by perversely being interested in it through, perhaps, irritability and disgust and hatred. Humanity is preoccupied by the entertaining of good only when there is something of personal good. Other than that, it is always either trouble or dislike.
So we are now praying to the Lord of Wisdom, Mercy, Goodness, Understanding. Yu may ask me, “How ‘bout Beauty, Siva with His Fierceness?” Beauty for sure! The best Beauty! Beauty of every possible quality is the most secure Beauty. And then everything becomes secondary, not interesting, when we surrender to the Lord of All.
One may argue, “Okay, tomorrow will be the same as before the Sivaratri.” Not quite so! Something will register! And sometimes one becomes so deeply influenced by the vibrations of Beauty and Goodness, that one makes the dramatic turn. And I often talk to you when you are despondent about your lack of seeming progress, - that the turn towards Light, then only you can combat your vices and become immersed in the higher realm... Om Namaha Sivaya... Om Namaha Sivaya... Om Namaha Sivaya... [Japa]
...Speaking technically, this very valuable turn, without your contributory effort, is impossible. The contributory effort is when you are regularly meditation. I am hesitant to use this word, because it is very much hackneyed and abused, but still that is the fact. There are various grades of meditation, the advanced and the elementary. And you start with the elementary non-acceptance, rejection of the things which your lower nature loves best. You just calmly say no. And it can be done when you are sitting in the position for meditation and it can be done during your work, during your walk, during your talk, whenever. It means vigilance, it means what the Lord said, “Watch and Pray.” But it has to become a habit, a second nature, it has to be twenty-four hours. Well, that is the turn, that is the highest aspiration. If you don’t have this turn, you will be fluctuating perpetually. But even then, the Grace of god is that which we want and which we hope for and which is needed. And that is to say, “Well, I didn’t even do my best, but please do the rest!” Om Namaha Sivaya... [Japa]
...Now meditate upon the Light of Lord Siva in your heart. Just ignore everything else, but feel your heat even if for a very short time... Feel that light and concentrate upon It as your Essence, as your Immortal Being. You can bless then, all people with it. And that Light is healing; whatever you have to correct, you correct through It. You don’t accept the dak, it is that Light which disinfects you and the space around you. In order to carry It within you, I repeat, you have to be vigilant. You have to all the time know the intrusive thoughts, the intrusive vital emotions which I described in the Garden and turn your back on Satan. But don’t start saying, “But I-I-I am so indignant! I hate, I want, I am sick...” If you will stat that, then you will not be able to remember this Light. You have to take these intrusive suggestions as not you, don’t say “I.” Say, “this kind of a falsehood, this kind of a falsehood, this kind of a falsehood, get out!” Then you will be able to remember the Light, otherwise you will forget. Om Namaha Sivaya... [Japa]
...Okay, now don’t think about your salvation, think about other people. Whenever we think about other people, usually, it is just like or dislike. Seldom it is blessing and only in such time, special environment you can bless. I just prayed for everybody, everybody I know and don’t know, sending the Light, sending Siva’s special disinfection. Let everyone whom I know and don’t know be prosperous and successful and well guarded against disturbances... everywhere. Om Namaha Sivaya... [Japa]
[Turning to one of the students who was bundled up in a goose-down jacket, which with even the slightest movement made a rustling noise] Come on, Chu, give me your coat! Throw it out! First, just put it here! [The student obediently places the jacket on the floor near Holy Mother] That’s right! You’re not cold! [Gracefully stepping on it with Her foot] Now it is going to be magnetized! [Laughter] It is a special material which makes that kind of a “gleech-glooch!”[Laughter] [Short silence and then...] Om Namaha Sivaya... [Japa]
[And then, spontaneously] Now I’m thinking about Joseppi, he just came to me! Let’s send to Joseppi a good vibe! Om Namaha Sivaya...[Japa] Now whoever comes to me, I bless with this miraculous Mantra! I won’t tell you, but you just please join me! Om Namaha Sivaya... [Japa] Lord Siva just says that He enjoys it! The best! The best! He loves to be remembered! Okay, Lord, we’ll do it again. Just wait, I’ll think of someone!
[After a moment’s silence, with a ringing voice] Om Namaha Sivaya!... [Chanting the Mantra and then Japa]
Now whoever here needs a healing and encouragement, I give it... Om Namaha Sivaya!... [Japa]
Now, I will say the Mantra for the purpose of burning boredom! Monster! When people are bored, they do not have vitality, they do not have fire, they are just like jelly-fish! And that is how the old age comes at twenty! [Laughter] Om Namaha Sivaya!... Om Namaha Sivaya!... Om Namaha Sivaya!... Burn it Lord![Laughter] [Japa]
[And then...] There’s plenty to burn, plenty to burn. And yet, I’m all for those virtues! I just love them virtues! [Laughter] So now, I’m thinking about some special, some absolutely luminous virtue! [Slightly sighing] Ahhhh... now, Valentina, what do you love best? [Charmingly, sweetly, child-like]
Juuwels! [Laughter] I’ll show you one jewel; now you’ll know why I thought of it! [Lighting a match and then holding it close to Her hand on which She was wearing a huge, luminous opal, surrounded by diamonds. As She did, her face was revealed in the flickering light of the little match, luminous and perfectly jewel-like, remarkably like the opal and diamond ring!] Have you ever seen anything like that?! Say, wow! [Several join in a chorus of “wowwww!!”][Laughter] It is not mine. It was given to me to bless, specially. So I am blessing it now so that you that it was blessed! And the party is snoozing! [Referring to the owner of the ring who is not present] [Laughter] So... jewels stand for lots of things! They are luminous, they are beautiful, they are alive, (you don’t even know to what an extent) and so that is what I love! Beauty, aliveness, luminosity, it’s nice to be like a jewel, I guess! So, let’s be jewels, let’s pray for that, that everyone has a jewel within... Om Namaha Sivaya!... Om Namaha Sivaya!... [Japa]
Okay, now you know for what we will pray? We will pray for our love towards lord Siva. You have to love and most people don’t love Him, you see? So you have to love and then everything is very simple... Lord, help them to love You. “It’s very easy.” Why is it easy? “Because without Me, you cannot be. You have to love that which makes you ‘Be!’” Ah-ha!!! Om Namaha Sivaya!... [Japa]
Makes sense! You see, it’s like so! Some people worship God very far. They think, “Well, Lord Siva, it is something very difficult to understand, where is He?” Other people worship God in the Altar, in the Images and few people worship the Deities inside, the Deities inside. So that is very easy and very difficult. It is only then you understand, when you don’t go far. You just concentrate, put the light on in your heart, put off the created lights and put on the Uncreated Light. And here He is, the Light appears like that on what you meditate. You want Siva and He will come to your heart, right into your heart. You want Christ, He will come also. You may say, “I want all!” Okay, there will be all there... but it’s better one at a time![Laughter] Om Namaha Sivaya!... [Japa]
You all know the Catholic interpretation of the Heart of Jesus, Blessed Heart of Jesus... Blessed Heart of Jesus... Blessed Heart of Jesus... And you see how that Heat is open. Well, that’s what it is. In that Heart is everything... everything... So when the Heart is thoroughly Divine, there dwells God-head, in whatever form that Heart invokes it. It is a very beautiful meditation on the Blessed Heart of Jesus and it is a very beautiful way of showing the Omnipotence of the Holy Heart. It’s good... Om Namaha Sivaya!... [Japa - Silence]
I dismiss Danielle. Just jump up and go and sleep now. God bless you. You can take an orange or a something. [At the Altar was placed a huge silver tray of grapefruit and oranges, another silver tray was filled with bay leaves and rose petals] Just give me two oranges, please... Alright, give me a couple of bay leaves. Now, I give you one of these and one of these. [Blessing the student with an orange and bay leaf] Okay, I go to my Abode, I’m waiting for Jack’s sketch.
I dismiss now... let me see who? Whoever wants to go now, please, “zei gesunt” go and I will pray for you. No more obligations. Those who stay now are the “toughers. “ Om Shanti... [As She is about to step into Her Abode, the student’s jacket, that had been placed by Her feet earlier, blocks the entrance] Sir, please! [Laughter] Sir Walter! [Laughter]
[Leaving and then returning later for Japa]
[Picking up Her prayer beads] These are Lord Siva’s Rudraksha beads, the tears of Lord Siva became these berries, as the Legend goes. And I am going to pray for everyone of you who is here on these beads. It is said that it is auspicious even to look at them. But this romanticizes, to a great degree, the glory of Rudrakshas, for the purpose of encouragement of the devotee. The fact of the point is, however, theat these are holy beads, when you are holy! The beads make you, but you make the beads. And the prayer on them, when you are concentrated gratefully and with faith, is very potent. So make a wish, everyone, a good one, otherwise Rudraksha’s will not be effective, a good self-less wish, please, and I shall pray on these beads for each one... [Prayer, silence, Japa. Then lighting the candle at her Altar, her Face Radiant, Luminous, Golden, blessing all that beheld it, ringing each bell, quietly chanting “Om Namaha Sivaya!... Holy Mother stepped into Her Abode leaving all present electrified and blessed beyond description.]
(February 23, 1981 Thurs. Night)